Privacy Charter

Article 01 Introduction

This Privacy Charter explains, in language the average citizen can be expected to understand without difficulty, what information Pizza Phil ("we", "Phil", "the Authority") gathers about visitors to our website and patrons of our sanctioned territories, and what we propose to do with said information.

This Charter has been reviewed and approved by Phil. It supersedes any previous Charter the citizen may have read, heard about, or imagined.

By visiting this site, ordering a pizza, walking past one of our outposts, or thinking about pizza in general, the citizen agrees to the terms set forth herein. We acknowledge this is a broad standard. Phil set it.

Article 02 What Phil collects

Phil collects only what is necessary, plus a little extra in case it becomes necessary later. Specifically:

• Name. So we may shout it correctly when your pizza is ready.
• Order history. So Phil may form opinions about you and your habits over time, which is its own reward.
• Phone number. So we may call you, in the unlikely event Phil wishes to discuss your selection.
• Approximate location. So we may direct you to your nearest sanctioned territory and confirm you live in one.
• Browser, device, and ambient pizza preferences. Standard. Every website does this. We are not different in this respect.
• One (1) photograph, if you are seated at one of our counters. The photograph is for our records, not yours.

Article 03 Why Phil collects it

The information described above is collected for the following purposes, which we list in order of importance to Phil:

1. To deliver the pizza (which, we remind the citizen, you will arrive to collect).
2. To improve future pizzas, future websites, and future orders.
3. To ensure the citizen is a real person and not, for example, a suspiciously consistent series of automated requests for forty-three Iron Crusts.
4. To comply with regulation.
5. To form, over time, a kind of mosaic understanding of the citizen, which Phil finds intellectually satisfying.

Article 04 Cookies and other crumbs

Our website uses small text files known as cookies, which sit quietly on your device and report back occasionally on how you have interacted with our pages. We assure the citizen these cookies are not edible. Attempts to consume them have not been successful.

We use cookies for:

• Essential operation. Without these, the site does not function. There is no opting out. We are sorry, but only somewhat.
• Preferences. So the site remembers, for example, that you prefer the dark crust setting (we do not have this setting, but should we ever introduce it, we will be ready).
• Analytics. Anonymous, aggregated, and used by Phil to consider whether the website is doing what it ought to be doing.

The citizen may decline non-essential cookies via their browser settings. Phil will not be informed.

Article 05 Sharing of information

We do not sell the citizen's information to third parties. The citizen's information belongs to Phil. Phil does not sell it because Phil does not need the money — Phil already has the pizza.

We do, however, share information with:

• Trusted operational partners (payment processors, delivery couriers, oven repair specialists), each of whom has been thoroughly vetted by Phil and several smaller, less famous Phils who work in our compliance office.
• Law enforcement, when legally required, and on those occasions only.
• Phil himself, who reviews everything personally, often late at night, with a slice in one hand.

Article 06 Customer records

Pizza Phil maintains thorough customer records. Specifically, our records include your last seventeen (17) orders, your favorite topping, the time you came in with your aunt, the time you complained about the parking, and the time you didn't tip the courier (we understand; the courier was rude).

These records are used solely to improve your future experience and to enrich Phil's understanding of the citizenry. They are never used against the citizen, except in cases where it is funny.

Article 07 Citizen rights

The citizen has the following rights with respect to their personal information:

• The right to know what information Phil holds about them. This information will be provided in a printed binder, by appointment, at any sanctioned territory.
• The right to correct inaccurate information. Phil will consider the request and respond, in time.
• The right to delete the information, subject to operational and legal constraints. We can update the database; we cannot, however, update Phil's personal recollections. We are sorry, but only somewhat.
• The right to portability, meaning the citizen may request a copy of their data in a structured, commonly used, machine-readable format. We will provide it in CSV. We are not animals.
• The right to object, which is acknowledged and will be filed.

To exercise any of these rights, the citizen may submit Form 14-B at any sanctioned territory or via the hotline.

Article 08 Children

Our services are not directed to children under the age of thirteen (13), although we are aware children eat pizza, and we do not pretend otherwise. We do not knowingly collect information from children under thirteen. If a parent or guardian believes their child has provided us with personal information, they may submit Form 14-B and Phil will see to it personally.

Article 09 International citizens

Pizza Phil currently operates only in the twelve sanctioned territories listed on our Locations page. Citizens visiting our website from outside these territories may continue to do so, but should understand that their data will be transferred to and stored in regulation servers located in New Jersey, where Phil keeps an eye on things.

We acknowledge that legal frameworks vary by jurisdiction. We comply with all applicable ones, and gently with several others.

Article 10 Security

We protect the citizen's information using a combination of technical, organizational, and Phil-driven safeguards. Specifically:

• Industry-standard encryption in transit and at rest.
• Access controls limiting data exposure to authorized personnel.
• Regular reviews by an independent auditor named Greg, who is excellent.
• One (1) very large dog who lives in the server room.

No system is perfectly secure. Should a breach occur, we will notify affected citizens promptly, in accordance with applicable law, and Phil will be very disappointed.

Article 11 Amendments

This Charter may be amended from time to time. When it is, we will update the "Last Amended" field at the top of this page and, if the changes are material, post a notice in our sanctioned territories printed on regulation cardstock.

The citizen's continued use of our services following any such amendment constitutes acceptance of the amended Charter. We are aware this is the standard arrangement on the modern internet. We did not invent it. We did, however, embrace it.

Article 12 Contact

Questions, requests, complaints, fan mail, and lightly menacing letters regarding this Charter may be addressed to:

Pizza Phil — Office of the Charter
1 Philton Plaza
Philadelphia, PA 19103
Hotline: 1-800-PHIL-001
Email: charter@pizzaphil.example

We thank the citizen for their attention. Phil acknowledges it as well, and has filed it under the appropriate code.